Films That Stole Time From My Life And I Know Suck Third Edition

1. The Last Samurai (2003) is ruin by said Samurai being by simple process of whitewashing...I mean elimination Tom Cruise. Ken Watanabe and his group should have been either the sole or main focus of the whole movie.

2. Big (1988) is fine if you like a story laced with cave opening sized holes. Example the first is the romance is between an adult and someone who is not of age yet briefly becomes Tom Hanks. Secondly the main character has no references, social security number, or proof of identity and thus should not get a high level job. Heck, what is the non-insane sounding explanation for his actual self's disappearance? Finally how does his adult love interest not get arrested for the adult him disappearing after they leave the meeting?

3. Disney's Sleeping Beauty (1959) may have had some technical firsts yet it fails in major ways. The first is the plot hinging on a lack of invite to Maleficent and then the fairies being rude. Later said fairies basically decline to combine their power. Next up they forsake their magic and essentially decide to kidnap Aurora. Without apparently actually telling the King and Queen. While they talk about letting the King and Queen know their plan we never see that happen.

  Next up is the fact both the prince and Aurora are below stock level in terms of characterization.  Not to mention the animals have way more personality and visual expressiveness. Speaking of expression, the music is bland to discordant. Finally there is the age factor of the prince looking about 5-8 years old at the beginning while Aurora is a newborn. They meet again when she is 16 and he is at least in his early-to-mid twenties.

4. Cruel Intentions 2 (2000) has Amy Adams teaching someone how to ride a horse saddle in a grossly wrong way. Also it basically just retells the first Cruel Intentions in a more disturbing and inane way.


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